gamer

1. Your financial planning is focused on game releases.

Stonks are probably a better investment, but didn’t that Super Mario Bros. game sell for a cool $2 mil?

2. Your idea of classical music is an 8-bit game soundtrack.

One man’s Rachmaninoff is another (Mega) Man’s chiptune.

3. You gotta have that low ping and high FPS.

4. Your idea of camping never involves s’mores.

You guys play amongst yourselves, I’ll wait.

5. Your avatar has nicer clothes than you.

More money may have been spent on skins than at the mall, just sayin’.

6. You’ve never actually met some of your best friends.

Meatspace is overrated as a meet place.

7. You have arguments over console superiority.

But we all know which one is best.

8. You can eat a meal between respawns.

9. You have rage quit in the past week.

Because you can’t really lose if you rage quit.

10. You have ever changed your console time zone to play a game early.

Because patience is for the weak.

11. Twitch players are your celebrities.

Ninja and Tfue > Bieber and Eilish.

12. You have said you are leveling up when it is your birthday.

You might even get it on a card or balloon.

13. You hear screen time talked about as if it’s a bad thing.

14. Your favorite Russian music comes from Tetris.

You mean…there’s other Russian music?

15. You just stopped playing and it’s after 2am.

Pfft, 2am? Amateur.

BONUS: You are still reading this post.

You can go back to the game now.

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